Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

Joke Day 04/20/09

Monday, April 20th, 2009

Grinning pig

A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. He called the local vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination.

The farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered “Okay,” and hung up the phone. Unclear on what the vet meant by artificial insemination, the farmer decided it must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself, so he loaded all the pigs in his pickup and drove down to the woods and shagged them all.

The next day he called the vet again, and asked how would he know if the pigs were pregnant. The vet told him they would be lying down and rolling in the mud, but when he looked out the window not even one was lying down. So he loaded them up in his pickup again and drove them to the woods and shagged them all again.

To his dismay they were all standing the next morning. So, again he loads the pigs in his truck, drives them to the woods and shags them for the third time.

By the next morning the farmer is beat, so he asks his wife to hop out of bed and look out the window to see what the pigs are doing. She says “Well – that’s odd! They’re all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn”.

Sharing

Sunday, January 20th, 2008

This is probably going to be the funniest thing I will see or hear all damn day:

I spent a half hour jumping around my apartment playing air guiter with a broom, which is pretty much the only reason i bought the broom, and quite possibly the only reason why i wanted to live on my own- So i could do such acts without crashing in the floor or pissing off moms or gma with my dreams of playing crazy electro-rock.

Direct quote from Livingdead’s post over at xoxxed.com.

Al this over some new stuff from Bjork. Good times.

This is a joke.

Wednesday, November 28th, 2007

The Trouble with Outsourcing

Was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
Got a call center in Pakistan.
Told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.

e-mailed to me by Crockdaddy.