Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

Deep thoughts

Thursday, January 17th, 2008

They say that crazy people don’t know that they’re crazy. Does that mean that if you think that you are crazy that you can’t be? Or are you just not crazy in the way that you think? Can a person be paranoid of themself?

For those of you who have been reading this site for a long time you may have noticed that I mention sanity a lot.  OK maybe not a lot but fairly often I think.  I’ve always been fascinated with psychology and the way the mind works.  I would have gone into Psychology as a profession if it weren’t for all the crazies.  That and medical school was just too much money and commitment for me.  Besides, I tend to be one of those people who seem to try and project everything they learn against themself to see if I exhibit any of those symptoms or traits.  Scary.

But I still ponder these things a lot.  I often wonder what phsychological problems I actually have and what indications other people may see in me.  I have lengthy conversations with myself in my head and I’m not entirely sure it’s just my conscience talking.  I wonder if there is a great evil lurking within me that I fight every day to keep in check.  I wonder if I have the capacity to do the horrible things that go through my head sometimes.  Of course, maybe that’s normal.  How is one person to truly know if what they experience is completely normal for most sane human beings or if they are truly disturbed.

I suppose you could talk to a psychologist and try and find out, but unless there is something medically wrong with you I’m not sure you could really take their opinions as truth.  Because that’s exactly what they will give: opinions.  A psychologist knows the basics to how the brain works and knows what goes on inside their own mind.  However, they rely on what people and their patients are willing to tell them about their problems and the workings of their minds to decide what may be going on.  Is that really fair or accurate?

Let’s do a little test using the first thing that comes to mind for each item:

  1. Think of an animal
  2. Think of something happening to that animal
  3. Think of how you think you would react to that something happening to that animal
  4. Think of the first color to come to mind when you read this line
  5. Think of your first vehicle
  6. What was the animal’s name?

Did you do that?  Do you think it’s fair to say that the answers you gave are sane?  If I polled 10,000 people for their answers to these questions and tabulated them together and then gave you the results, would your answers look any more or less sane?  That depends on one thing: honesty.

You see most people will not say the first thing that comes to their minds if they don’t like what it was.  People constantly censor and edit themselves whether from politeness, political correctness or self preservation.  So out of 10,000 respondants you could guarantee that at least 50% of the answer were not honest first thoughts.  Then you compare your own answers and probably don’t know for sure if your answers were honestly the first thing that popped into your mind.  You may have gone with the second, third or maybe even tenth thing that went through your mind because you were too disgusted, ashamed or embarrased that you possibly thought what you did for a given question.

But that is my opinion based on my own life and experiences.  Here’s a thought for myself: what if I’m totally wrong about what I just wrote?  What if it’s just me that goes through the dishonesty of answering questions because I can’t handle the first things that go through my mind.  Maybe it’s just me and everyone else thought of rainbows and unicorns.  It’s that uncertainty that makes me question sanity.  Because no one can ever be truly sure that how they feel is sane.

Or maybe it’s just me.

Started writing again

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

I started writing again the other day. No, not on the zombie series. [Well OK that’s not entirely true.  I did do a little work on The Killing Fields at lunch today.] This is another new story line. Something along the lines of a children’s book. For adults. Because of all the blood and death. You know… for kids. *swivels hoola-hoop*

Yeah OK so there usually isn’t a whole lot of blood and death in kids books so this would obviously not be the correct classification. I was just thinking of something light-hearted like Jumanji and Night at the Museum mixed with something a little more disturbing like Hellraiser and The Relic with maybe a bit of Cthulhu mythos influences to spice it up a bit. I probably won’t finish it just like everything else, but you never know. Maybe if things settle down at work after I get back from the States, I can try and concentrate on writing more often. Maybe some more drawing too. That would be nice.

If any of my readers is a police officer, especially one that’s been on a murder crime scene, and wouldn’t mind me asking them a few procedural questions through e-mail, send me a message @ cybrpunk 13 @ gmail dot com. Your country or state of jurisdiction is not important to me so don’t let that stop you.

Window Seat

Wednesday, September 5th, 2007

Even though he isn’t a high salary executive, Joe is what most people would consider a world traveller. He works long hours for his company and spends a fourth of his time each week flying from one city to another. He likes his work and his company and doesn’t even mind the constant travel so much. He does have one complaint though. Although he always gets a window seat, he never has a view.

Every single flight, day or night, Dallas or Tokyo, his window always looks out over the wing of the airplane. He doesn’t know if its just bad luck or someone in the airline was just picking on him, but it never fails to happen. Its especially grating when the captain makes an announcement to look out his side of the plane to see the Grand Canyon or the Eiffel Tower or some other scenic treat that everyone else gets to “oooh” and “ahhh” over.

Today Joe is flying from Singapore to Hong Kong. He is sitting in his requested window seat and he stares out the window at the grey wing obscuring his view of the water. He bitterly wonders what he did to deserve this curse and wishes that just once he could get a clear view of the scenery below. He pushes the button to lean back his seat and tries to nap for the remainder of the trip.

Joe wakes suddenly to the unexpected sound of metal grinding on metal which is immediately followed by the cries and screams of many of the passengers of the plane. Joe looks out his window and sees the wing and the sky as usual. He notices that it looks like the wing is not only flexing up and down like normal but forward and backward as well. A flight attendant is walking down the aisle trying to calm people down and asking them to be quiet. No one seems to believe her as the tearing sounds come again.

Joe never screamed or panicked. It was with mixed emotions that Joe greeted the sight of the wing crumpling and tearing and eventually ripping from the side of the plane. Even though he knew that they would all die, he had a spectacular view of the sea and the islands below from his window seat.

So ready for vacation…

Tuesday, July 17th, 2007

I am not a beach kind of person but that doesn’t stop me from really looking forward to our island vacation. Six nights in what we are hoping is something close to paradise should do the trick. Maybe next time we can go someplace with mountains. I’m more of a mountain and rocks kind of person. Need to pack tomorrow night after work. We leave bright and early on Thursday.

In other news, you’ll be seeing another original story here tomorrow that will be cross-posted on the fiction site I told you about before. Unfortunately it has nothing to do with zombies for those of you waiting for DAY FIVE. It is a decent diversion though, so keep an eye out for that tomorrow. Hopefully you’ll like it.

I need to go take the dogs outside to do their thing before bedtime so I suppose that’s it for now. Goodnight.


Friday, July 13th, 2007

This will seem rather anti-climactic but I have the results of the NAME the DEAD Contest. And due to the nature of my mood at the moment, I will break down the results into different categories to extend the length of this post. So with further adieu, here we go. With the results. Now.

Most comprehensive responder to the contest
Christy at

Second most comprehensive responder to the contest
Yoshi at

Goofiest responder to the contest
KD at

Most startling revelation of the contest
That almost no one cares either about the contest or about the names of the people in the stories.

Yeah, so I got three responses from the three people above. That either means that people aren’t bothering to read the stories or they just don’t care to play my little games. Either way it doesn’t really matter.


Because for one thing I’ve decided that the names are irrelevant and have re-formatted the first three Days to follow the new one.

And also DAY FOUR is finished! Yay! I need to have my lovely editor give it a thorough read through and I should be able to post it tomorrow. Hopefully she can get through it without falling asleep because it’s definitely the longest one yet (8 pages printed, currently sitting at 6,704 words). That’s way longer than DAY ONE and DAY TWO combined!

OK I seriously need to stop talking about it or everyone will be all hyped up and then be pissed when they read it and think it sucks.

I may go get myself some pity donuts.