I guess my priorities changed.  Having a toddler, yeah Kira is almost 16 months old now, means having a lot less free time.  A lot less freedom too.  If I have free time, I usually just want to relax or play a video game or maybe watch a movie.  There are a hundred and one things I’d like to do but I just don’t have the time or ambition to do them all and sometimes that means I don’t do any of them.  Writing is one of those things.  Drawing is another.  Sculpting, I finally started and will hopefully post some pictures of my first piece (in progress).  Reading, playing, sorting, organizing, learning, designing… all things that don’t happen all that much.

Now I know that there are people out there who go to work full time, go to school, work out and still take care of their kids.  I have the utmost respect for those people.  I have no idea how they do it.  I want to be like that.  I just don’t know how.

I watch things like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on television and say to myself “I want to do things that impact people like that.”  But I don’t have – or at least make – the time to better myself.  How can I expect to make the lives of others better if I don’t even make my own life better?  I don’t know.

Is this whining?  I’m not sure.  Is this a plea for help?  I have no idea.  Is it me venting and just spinning my wheels in the life I have put myself in?  Yeah, probably.  What do I do about it all?  I don’t know.

I want the easy way out.  I want to win the lottery so I can quit my job and become a philanthropist.  But I don’t even buy lottery tickets but a handful of days out of the year.  I guess that shows how much faith I have in the “easy way”.

It’s easier to be a “dreamer” instead of a “doer”.  I’m guilty of both.  What about you?

Wooo.

Well… that’s done.  Carry on.

I’m glad I don’t remember that process.  They say that is one of the worst pains ever but truthfully how would you know?  Babies can’t tell you how it feels or how it compares to childbirth, root canals or drawn and quartering.  You can’t hook them up to a meter and see the pain on a graph.  I guess it’s like most things… a guess.

Michelle and I took a little time last weekend away from the baby and went to have lunch at Red Lobster and then off to see Zombieland.  If you haven’t seen Zombieland yet then you are truly missing out.  It’s funny, goofy, scary (stupid clown), self-deprecating, a bit gory and full of action.  There’s even a touching moment so there’s something for everyone.  Meaning emotionally touching… not inappropriately touching…  you know what I mean.

I’ve got a bunch of vacation days that need to be taken before the end of the year so I am figuring out how to plan that out.  Everytime I think I have it all sorted something new comes up.  It happened again today.  Urgh.

Oh, I have a Playstation 3 now!  Yay!  Although I really don’t have any games for it.  I got it used on eBay and it did come with Street Fighter 4 (which I really don’t like surprisingly) and Singstar (which is kinda fun but quite limited compared to other music games).  So I don’t count those.  I’m hoping to get the Game of the Year edition of Little Big Planet for Christmas because that just looks fun to me.  Maybe I should download the demo and try it out first but it seems interesting.  Plus God of War 3 will be out eventually although since the main guy involved in the first two is no longer part of the franchise I’m not holding my breath.

I got the old 60GB PS3 which is why I got it on eBay instead of going to the store.  I picked that one specifically because it is the only model that has the hardware emulation for both PS1 andPS2 games built-in.  So of course the first thing I did was play We Love Katamari.  Because I just can’t get enough of rolling stuff into balls.  Don’t ask because I don’t know.

Michelle has a very busy week this week with editing photos from multiple gigs, friends coming into town and going to see a big concert and who knows what else is on her list.  She’s busy.  So her mom’s doing us a favor by keeping Kira so Michelle can do everything she needs to do and I don’t have to take time off work or get bombarded by stuff when I get home.

Of couse this means that we can do whatever we want without fear of waking Kira up or that she will wake up in the middle of the night.  I stayed up till almost midnight last night playing a game without headphones.  It was awesome.

But I do miss her and it hasn’t even been 24 hours since she left (however it has been over 24 hours since I last saw her).  The way she smiles at me every day when I come home makes everything worthwhile.  *sigh*

Well, better make the best of it.  As I understand it, I believe the lawn has my name on it tonight.  *sigh*

Oh well… there’s always tomorrow I suppose.

Da-da has been getting schooled in the new feeding which is completely different than the old feeding.  Now that Kira eats mostly the same food we do (with the exception of formula) her meals have become somewhat easier since she feeds herself most of the time but harder for Michelle because she has to pre-prepare foods in advance a lot of times.  Of course the threat of allergies to soy and milk are making that interesting but Michelle is doing an excellent job at figuring it all out.

I’m always a little apprehensive when I get to take care of Kira on my own with no help because I spend so little time with her comparatively.  But I don’t dread it at all because I get her all to myself during those times and I really do enjoy it.  There’s no way I could have figured out all the things that need to be done and am thankful that Michelle is there to show me what needs to be done ahead of time.

Kira is closing in on eleven months of age and she’s doing great.  She chatters like crazy and is close to mastering the ability to walk on her own.  She’s up to about seven or eight unassisted steps at this point without holding on to anything.  She also generally carrying a stuffed monkey half her size and stopping to squat down and pick up a pacifier along the way.

Usually when she sees one of the cats she starts saying “kih kih kih” over and over while she watches or reaches for them.  Last night she saw the orange cat come around the corner and said out loud “kih tuh” which amazed me.  We call all the cats ‘kitteh’ because we are like that and we can’t help it.  So her saying “kih tuh” was not just close – it was spot-on.  She’s a smart one.

So I’ve been shopping a bit.  When your stuff has been in storage for a couple of years you start to forget what you did and did not keep.  Important stuff – like a tent.  Yeah I used to have a nice tent but it no longer exists.  It had gotten a few holes in it from over-acheiving bonfire builders a few years previously so I have the vague recolection that maybe we sold it at the garage sale.  Either way – we were tentless.  So that went on the list.

I bought some travel toilet paper because that went missing from my supplies and that is a serious must have.  Sure I could have just taken a whole roll of TP, but the kind made for camping is much smaller and has it’s own little carrying case.  Now if only I could find a camp chair with no bottom for me to sit on.  How am I supposed to hold myself up, poop and read in the middle of the woods?  The idea of taking care of things in the woods is not completely alien to me but this is the first time I have had to “plan” for pooping in the woods.

No I need to go to the store and pick up some bottled water, beer, snacks, something to burn for Friday night’s dinner and some breakfast-y type stuff.  And get my fishing license.  Can’t forget that otherwise I may as well not even take my fishing pole.  License enforcement happens all the time.  Some other stuff too I think.  I better make a new list.

This week is especially short for me though.  Not only did I have yesterday off as a holiday, I am taking Friday off as a vacation day to go on the float/camping trip.  Some vacation day that will be too.  I will have to get up before the sun even wakes up to get my kit together and drive to my friends house.  He offered to come by and pick me up but honestly that is a BAD idea.  The dogs go crazy when anyone comes around the house.  If Kira was startled awake at 5:30am by insane dog barking, I’m afraid that would mean a very long and unpleasant day for both her and Michelle.  And she thinks I don’t think about her.  Pbbpttbt….

Did you see this article?  A guy in Arizona wears animal masks to and from work every day in order to get out of paying tickets from the photo-enforcement division.  Clever I suppose.  Well, until they start staking out his house.  Hehe.  Read the article.  It’s funny.

This picture just cracks me up every single time I see it.  Ha!  I am partial to monkeys though so maybe that has something to do with it.

Do you ever look at the ads on the side of page?  Usually they are like Google ads where they are at least kind of targeted to what’s on the page.  Usually.  Not today though.  Today I was looking at all the responses to me announcing that I am no longer playing any more farming games.  If you don’t know what I’m going on about then you probably aren’t on Facebook.  And I look to the side and see this as one of the ads:

Uhhh… I think perhaps the targeted ads are a bit confused.  If this has something to do with farming then I don’t need to know about it.

Seriously though, I have nothing against gay people of either gender but this bothers me a bit.  Based on my own knowledge of gay guys that I have met or been friends with, the bulk of them seemed to have no problem flitting between lovers like a fat guy at a buffet and certainly had no qualms about cheating on each other.  I am certain that this is not the case with all gay guys and I am not trying to generalize but I am relating what I have been told personally.

Now, assuming that the kind of behaviour I describe is even relatively common in this lifestyle, this gay cruise idea sounds like a really really bad idea.  Sure it will be a fun time for the people on it but can you imagine the aftermath?  Primarily I’m talking about diseases.

Consider that most sexually transmitted diseases are spread by people who don’t know they are infected or carrying a given disease.  I’m not sure if there is a statistic on how many people get an STD over a given weekend but I imagine its more than I care to know.  Now take that number and multiply it by some other unknown number for a cruise that I assume is based on the premise of sex.  It sounds like the boat should have to go through quarantine before it gets back to US soil.

Am I wrong about an All Gay Cruise being primarily about sex?  I don’t think so or why else would it exist?  There’s nothing to say that gay people and straight people can’t share the same cruise ship for the experience of people going on vacation.  And can you imagine if someone offered an All Straight Cruise?  The backlash would be earth-shattering to say the least.  So since there is nothing stopping gay people from going on normal cruises and doing whatever they feel like, this idea of an All Gay Cruise sounds more like a “special” getaway.  A haven or retreat for the alternative lifestyle.  A place to do whatever it is they feel that can’t do when us “breeders” are around.  (Yes I have been called a Breeder by a gay guy before.)

Am I way off base here?  Or is there something even more sinister that I’ve completely missed?
What’s your opinion?

to another meeting.  Only two today, not so bad really.

Left-over pasta for lunch from Cecil Whitakers All-You-Can-Eat Pasta special that they have every monday.  The tortellini is actually better reheated than it was fresh.  It turns out that I can’t eat as much all-you-can-eat pasta as I once could.  And for that degredation in skills I am actually quite happy.  Sometimes I am still shocked at the portions at restaurants.  I’ve been back from Hong Kong for one year and sadly I have adjusted to the gigantic meals of the Midwest but its sad.  No wonder overweight people outnumber the thin here.  Trained.  Blarf.

I have bought some clay.  My wife printed off a 25% coupon for Hobby Lobby and we went there last night after I got home from work.  I ended up getting some Sculpey Firm which from the descriptions online that I read seemed like a good fit.  I also have a cheap package of what I can only guess is just plain old clay and not polymer.  The package is in 438 different languages and none of them seem to be English.  It was cheap so I thought I would try it out.  I have no idea what I am doing so who knows what will actually work for me.

Kira is off with Grandma and Grandpa Stinky for a few nights.  They get called Stinky because they both smoke and… well… they stink.  I’m sure there’s a nicer way to put it but – no.  Febreze is used so it helps but only so much.  Maybe some day they will quit.  Yeah.

I think we are planning on going to see a movie tonight.