To change the subject

Well, enough of the depressing posts for the time being. Time to change the subject.

As some of you may know and many others don’t, I was laid off from my previous job back in June of 2010. I was out of work for the longest span I have ever experienced and it was tough. Our savings took a royal beating and it is going to take a while to recover. We skipped birthdays and Christmas for the most part.

Yeah I know I said no more depressing posts for now and I meant it. Oddly enough I wouldn’t trade that time off for the world. I have gotten to know my daughter so much better than I ever had time for before. We’ve bonded over that time at home and it has been wonderful. Sure things were rough and even a little scary now and then but that was minor compared to getting to see my baby girl learning and growing and transforming like my wife has had the privilege to experience since her birth.

Being a stay at home parent is hard. I knew that before and this time has only confirmed it. But it has its own rewards. Its own compensation. But still… I’m glad I’m now back to work.

I started a new job a few weeks ago before the end of the year. That was supposed to be the start of a happy 2011 but you know how that has turned out so far. But this new job is good. I like what I’m doing and the compensation is good. Plus its for a non-profit who is making a difference every day for people who need it. What else could I ask for? Well how about working from home? Yeah, I got that too. It’s freaking sweet.

Memorial for a friend

I haven’t been to a funeral in years. I guess I’m lucky. Well, at least in that it’s been a while. I’ve been to quite a few funerals in my life with most of them being before the end of my high school days. People that I now barely remember in blurry memories, forgotten pictures and a whiff of smell now and then. People that I wish I could talk to once more. Learn from them. Share with them. Tell them how much they meant to me. But that is the nature of loss, remorse and regret. And the forgetting? That is the nature of humans.

Tonight I attended the funeral of one of my father-in-laws. Well not necessarily a funeral. More of a memorial. There was no service planned. He had been cremated so the only reminder of him was the hundreds of pictures throughout the room and the innocuous green marble container with his name written on it. I know people were planning on getting up and telling stories or just telling others how they felt. My wife among them. I didn’t get to stay to hear those speeches because I had to take Kira back home. It was getting close to bed time and she was starting to fade into crabby-land. It was expected – no regrets.
Read more »

2010 in the end

This is not the way to start a new year – or the way for the previous one to end.  2010 was a horrible year and we were only too happy to see its end on the horizon.  Unfortunately it went clawing tooth and nail like a wildcat slipping into a well and made certain one remaining casualty would haunt the first day of what should have been a happy new year.

There was no countdown, no champagne, no celebration.  Only the sadness of family so emotionally and physically exhausted too confused by the state of family stricken down in an instant.  There were no party hats, no music, no resolutions.  Only anger at the injustice of it all and the unfairness of losing someone who deserved to live more than just 46 years.

But to the year of 2010 I say piss off – you will never be missed.  Yes, you spoiled these first days/weeks/months of our new beginning in 2011 but no matter how hard things are now we will carry on.  Prayers fail, begging fails, pleading fails and we know that life is just life and that we are on our own.  How we handle things now, then and forever are ours to own and no one else’s to lay blame.

Life is short. Be good to one another and to yourself.  And hope that those around you do the same.  We’re all each other have.

WordPress Themes