Delayed / derailed / decomposed

Day Three is coming soon, I swear.

I got my hand torn to shit by a stray kitten I caught last night. I was bleeding from eight different places on one hand. Three were deep bite marks. If I start foaming at the mouth, someone get me some aspirin or something. If I start craving tuna, make some macaroni and cheese for me as they go together oh so well. Mmmm….

We’ll be meeting our good friends Matt and Mae at the Hong Kong airport tomorrow afternoon on their first stop on the way to pick up their newly adopted baby girl! We are so happy for them that this is all working out for them. We’re also really happy that someone is finally visiting us, even if it’s only for a day and for ulterior motives. We don’t mind! Woohoo! We’ve made the trip a few times so we know how tired they will be. I only with they had more time to show them the cool things here in Hong Kong. Ah well.

So to pass the time today, I will leave you with an old joke. Because, if you think about it, are there really any new jokes?

“Hi, honey, this is Daddy,” …. “Is your Mommy near the phone?”

“No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank.”

After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But you haven’t got an Uncle Frank, honey!”

“Oh yes, I do, and he’s upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy, right now!”

“Uh, Okay, then……here’s what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy and Uncle Frank that Daddy’s car’s just pulled up outside the house.”

“Okay, Daddy!”

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. “Well, I did what you said, Daddy.”

“And what happened?” he asks.

“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went flying through the front window… and now she’s all dead.”

“Oh my God!!!  And what about Uncle Frank?”

“He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the Swimming pool… but he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he’s all real dead too.”

*** long pause ***

Daddy says, “Swimming pool??? Is this 555-7039?”

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